The DAFT Manifesto

as proclaimed by ERATIC - Equal Rights for All Types of Intelligent Creatures - on Vladimir in 3187.

We demand the right to NOT wear a hat.

We demand that the "perfect" military be disbanded so that it can no
longer be used to oppress the "naturals" in our society. That all the
manufactured weapons and military systems of the "perfects" military
industrial complex be destroyed and the military industrial complex be
turned over to production of peaceful products for the betterment of
"naturals". If they do not accede to this demand we will use their own
weapons against them to destroy them utterly.

Housing is a good idea and it should be the right of all "naturals" to
live in a house. We therefore demand that housing be made available to
all "naturals" whether they want it or not. Accordingly we demand that
all governments implement a programme of building blocks of apartments
for housing all their citizens, including the homeless and
disadvantaged.

We demand justice for all, and lots of it for "perfects", and they get
theirs by being strapped in chairs and zapped with mega-lumps of that
electricity stuff. And I want to attach the electrodes 'cos I know where
they will hurt the most after being interrogated by "perfects".

We demand the right to not be restricted by position in society and the
workplace as the determinant for the size of hat that the individual
wears. In particular we demand bigger hats for road sweepers so that the
rain does not soak their ears and noses and drip down their necks.

We demand that all "naturals" should NOT be used as slave labour,
therefore we demand a decent working day of a maximum of twelve hours, a
minimum of a half day off every week and at least one weeks paid holiday
every year. This to be enshrined in a new "naturals" constitution along
with a minimum wage capable of buying at least one hot meal a day.

We at ERATIC were shocked to find that not a single military vehicle,
GEV, PAC or naval vessel has been designed for wheelchair access, yet
more proof of the uncaring nature of "perfects" and their distain for
"naturals". Also it has come to our attention that no control panel on
any piece of military equipment has an alternative Braille keypad. And
not a single hand weapon, grenade or missile has any form of warning
label indicating that it might be hazardous to organic life forms of all
kinds. Therefore, with immediate effect we refuse to engage in any acts
of armed violence unless or until all these defects have been rectified
so that we "naturals" can continue our armed struggle for freedom from
the tyranny of "perfects" in safety.

We demand the right for all Humans, "natural" as well as "perfect", to
have a garden. Whilst we accept that this may not be practicable in all
environments currently being used by Humans for occupation, e.g.
asteroids, this is exactly what terra-forming is all about and we demand
that all inhospitable environments be terra-formed immediately to allow
for the resident Humans to have a garden each.

Fair and impartial justice is the right of all intelligent beings and
as such we demand the overhaul of all the judicial systems so that it
dispenses justice fairly to all, "naturals" as well as "perfects". And
we "naturals" will be running the judiciary so that "perfects" will get
the justice they deserve.

We demand democracy for "naturals", by that we mean proper democracy
where we can be candidates and we can vote for ourselves and no
"perfects" are allowed to vote at all. We are the downtrodden masses and
we want to rise up and be counted.

We demand full employment, such that all "naturals" have a job to go to
every day, whether they want one or not, and a wage at the end of each
week. We also demand that all workers should have a sharp uniform like
the Venerian road sweepers.

We demand full education for every "natural", including university
education, regardless of cost. All such education must be paid for by
the state and every "natural" leaving education should have any debts
immediately waived. Every "natural" must be educated to at least the
same level as "perfects" so that they will see that they are not
superior to us "naturals".

We demand that all "perfects" in positions of supposed power, that is
politicians, military leaders, heads of universities and the bosses of
the corporations, etc. stand down immediately and hand over their
positions to "naturals". They must report to the nearest prison for
incarceration and to be charged with crimes against Humanity, well us
"naturals" really but we are Humanity in its true form, so there.

We want the freedom to do what we want, when we want, with whom we
want, how we want and where we want. And anything else that we've
forgotten as well. And we want it now.

S'Tif Broome
Chairperson of ERATIC,
c/o Department of Tranistway Cleansing
Sector G28457
Vladimir City


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