The Potato Filmography

An incomplete list of the filmic works featuring the great star Alphie Potato


1 "Loose Cannon" - historical docu-comedy - walk on part as a powder monkey
2 "My Mummy is a Shape Changer" (Animation) - voice over for 'Little Willy'.
3 "Space Thruster" first starring role which he played the accident prone but lovable young ship's mechanic Sydney who was endlessly getting into 'difficulties' with female crew members with hilarious results.
4 "Space Mechanic On The Job" - this time his character Sydney is working in a space station shuttle repair bay, where he is always getting into difficulties, etc etc
5 "A Pocket Full of Hyperlynium". Female lead: Silvana Woods. In space no-one can hear you scream...
6 "Archives of Lust" - Apparently this was about backroom activity in the great libraries of a Maldenite University. Alphie played Hupyourskyrt the naughty librarian. For some reason there are no extant copies.
7 "Hung At Dawn". Western epic with Alfie shooting it out on main street, hitting numerous innocent female bystanders. Female lead: Mimi Spanks.
8 "Cyborg Cuties on Top" - played DynoRod69, the hapless Draconian plumber who is always getting into unintentional scrapes with lonely Draconian housewives and their plumbing...
9 "The Big Plunger" Unsuccessful sequel to 'Cyborg Cuties'. A cult classic.
10 "My Favourite Computer" - Computer geek Herbert Dong is seduced by a sexy robot super computer called Orgasmia with gigantic datastores...
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12 "The Purple Helmets" gritty historical docu-comedy about an elite Venerian special forces unit during the Venerian rebellion. Alphie delivered the famous line "..well that's one in the eye for that Earther".
13 "The Sleeper Rises" - an ancient forerunner (Alphie) awakes after 60,000 years without sex, with hilarious results... Famous 'chase scene' with the Forerunner pursuing young archeological researchers round the ruins of a 'Forerunner city', that looked very like the main red mercury processing centre on Disney World.
14 "Big Red One" - erotic war movie about a group of soldiers on a lonley outpost on Old Mars. Infamous for the banned 'ICBM scene'.
15 "The Peel Sessions" Female lead: various. No plot + no dialogue + no acting = No time wasted!
16 "The Blight" Potato’s single, failed attempt at serious acting. A damning story of capitalist greed and corruption, directed by Ken Loach VI. All stock bought up when Potato started his political career, but still available as import, especially from the SSR.
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18 "Infamy Infamy" - an erotic farce - Alphie plays Big Dick, a larger than life bouncer at a frontier megadon herders' bar
19 "The Come From Behind Kid" - tense gritty frontier erotic gangster movie with Alphie in the title role.
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21 "RILF" controversial dark erotic docu-comedy set in a specialist Sirian robot factory.
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23 "It Shouldn't Happen To A President" - historical docu-thriller in which a hapless president called Sydney gets into all sorts of embarrassing scrapes with young attractive interns. Panned by the critics as 'Alphie's most unbelievable film'.
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25 "Carry on Up the Quadrant" - political farce, in which a charming rogue quadrant Governor Sydney attempts to get one over on a wily and sexy female Martian politician, Supreme Councillor Silky Canderas. Alphie quote of the film "...no that isn't a gun in my pocket, Councillor Canderas..."
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27 "Deadly Doppelganger of Deneb VII" co-starring Norma Stitz and Sly Poker, in which the Space Explorer Captain Sydney discovers his long-lost evil twin brother.
28 "Unbending Discipline" An epic educational film about discipinary practices in the Venerian Navy. Famous for the Alphie quote "...well that should stiffen his resolve". Still banned in Venerian space as 'degenerate and immoral'.
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32 "Nothing Better" Alphie stars in this rollicking romp set during the War of Independence, where he plays GFAN Admiral Sydney Large who has a 'thing' for his subordinate Captain Norma Snockers... with hilarious results.
33 "Wolf Whistle" Alphie's attempt at a foreign accent. He plays the famous Wolfer explorer Sir Henry Stabilo in this terrible bio-pic. The Wolf359 Government to this day remain offended by Alphie's potrayal of members of the Wolfer Royal Family during the 'Old Wolf' period. Many Wolfers regard showing this film as a legitimate casus belli and it is banned in all Commonwealth systems.
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102 "It's All About Alphie" A flamboyant musical about the life of Alphonse Z Potato, President of the GFA. Alphie has a walk-on cameo role as a cheeky taxi-driver. The man himself is played by action-hero Clint Blaztov.
103 "Carry On Up The Roaches". Alphie has a cameo role in this romantic farce about love and betrayal among the human researchers on Zubat.

(...and there may be more...)

See Also Interstellar Potato Fan Club